Friday, May 30, 2014
Reframing Part 2: Pain Becomes Zen Becomes Gratitude
"Sometimes you have to eat the pickle." --Edward Espe Brown
-----------------
The documentary "Cook Your Life" follows Zen teacher Edward Espe Brown through one of his cooking classes. During the film, Mr. Brown recites a tale of his Zen teacher (complete version here). As a youngster, Suzuki Roshi was at a monastery with several other boys. They were served pickled Daikon radishes that were "off" slightly, an artifact of a mistake in the pickling process. The boys refused to eat them, but the pickles kept showing up at every meal for many days. One night, that was all they were served. Suzuki Roshi and the boys pretended to eat the pickles, but buried them in a deep hole in the garden. But, what do you know?! The pickles showed up on their plates again that night.
Of course, there's a moral: when faced with unpleasantness, we often try to deny, bury, drown, hide, or mask it. But it's still there, as it was with Suzuki's pickle. And you have to face it. Hence the quote at the top of this post.
My pickle has been chronic back pain, which I've dwelled (dwelt?) on plenty in this forum, so I'll spare you the details in this post. The question I keep coming back to is this: why can't I just get this fixed? Since 2008, I've consulted 3 family practice doctors, a physical therapist, an orthopedist, 4 chiropractors, a spine surgeon, and an acupuncturist. The surgeon recommended against surgery. The chiropractors made their adjustments. The physical therapists gave me exercises to do. The doctors gave me drugs. I've used various over-the-counter and prescription medications for pain and relaxing muscles (masking, drowning...), with various results (and yes, the prescriptions were made out to me, thanks for asking). I've stopped short of anything truly invasive such as injections or surgery, even though I had an MRI that showed a few bulging disks.
Fast forward to now. I'm re-visiting a book called Back Sense: a Revolutionary Approach to Halting the Cycle of Chronic Back Pain by Siegel, Urdang, and Johnson (here's their website). This book, along with 7 Steps to a Pain-Free Life by Robin McKenzie (of the "McKenzie Method"), were very enlightening, and challenged what I was hearing: spine surgery is the only definitive, final option for chronic back pain suffers. (My mother-in-law loaned them to me, which I really appreciated, but she wanted them back because their ideas worked for her, too.) Indeed, after I incorporated their ideas and techniques into my life, I have been totally pain-free for significant periods of time.
Back Sense claims that most back pain has a psychological cause. Stress causes tension in different places for different people. For some folks, stress shows up as tension in necks and shoulders. Some have gastrointestinal issues. Some get headaches. Others, like me, store stress in the hips and lower back. My personal theory is that stress settles in the previously injured body parts. So, it makes sense that my shoulder, hip, back, and ankle would hurt when I'm stressed because I've injured those spots before. And, pain and stress are a feedback loop--stress causes tension causes pain causes stress causes tension causes pain etc.
So, in an effort to loosen my back and body up, I'm trying to relax. The first step in this process is accepting that I have physical limitations and I need to change. I need to change my perceptions, my movements, my exercises, my habits. All difficult, but doable.
The second step is to visualize that these limitations are temporary. I've gotten better before, and I will again. In fact, as I write this, my pain today is less than yesterday, which was less than the day before, even without any pain killers. As long as I stay positive and keep moving, my pain will diminish.
The third step is to acknowledge what I do have--I'm generally healthy otherwise (other than cholesterol levels, which the Western doctors and I bang heads about--more on that later!); I can still walk and hike (I even ran a painful mile last Saturday with my kid!); I have a loving and beautiful family; I have several good friends; I'm sheltered, clothed, fed, and gainfully employed. This step is the most beneficial, and it seems that the universe has been supporting me here. This post by Ben Hewitt (a farmer tallies his holdings and realizes he'd be financially rich but spiritually broke if he sold it all), and the story of Travis Mills (introduced to me by Mike Rowe on Facebook) who, despite losing portions of all his limbs refuses to be labeled a victim (and regards himself as fortunate, lucky, and blessed), illustrate nicely the gratitude we should all have. Who am I to complain about a little back pain, in light of all my blessings?
One final Zen note from another of my inspirations:
Embrace feeling bad: By not wanting to feel bad, I make my bad feelings worse. By allowing myself to feel bad, and realizing we all feel bad sometimes, I give myself space to feel this way. I give myself permission. In fact, I embrace it as part of being human. Too many people want to feel happy all the time, positive 100% of the time, but that’s not reality. We all feel bad sometimes, and that’s OK. When you give yourself this space, and embrace the suck, you aren’t fighting with it. It happens, then it goes away, like a cloud. --Leo Babauta, Zen Habits Blogger
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
A Short List of Lessons I've learned in my 30s
Several years ago, I took a creative writing class from local New Mexico author, Stan Crawford. I learned a lot, wrote a lot, and met several creative, talented, and inspiring people (Katy, I'm talking about you!). In the course of the class, he mentioned that I was good at making lists. I think he meant lists in text, like in the previous sentence, but, in that vein, and as I swiftly approach 40 (I turn 39 this September), here are some of the lessons I've learned while navigating my 30s, in no particular order and with no transitions between paragraphs, something my original writing mentor, John Rember, would balk at, I'm sure!
Last summer, alcohol became an enemy rather than a friend as it gave me migraines. While I can now enjoy a glass of wine again without days of agony afterward, I have to say that getting drunk is over-rated. A hangover lasts for days instead of mere hours, even without a migraine.
Medically speaking, I've had to learn to deal with some chronic pain. Also, I've learned that it takes longer to recover from injury. In the process of these discoveries, I've enlisted several doctors and specialists, including a single primary care physician (rather than an office). Furthermore, I have to pay attention to my health in ways I haven't had to before, and my medical file keeps getting thicker and thicker. I actually have to check some of the boxes on those medical questionnaires now.
Having children has been enlightening. Children embody the extreme, as they have not spent decades stifling emotion. Everything is turned all the way up to 11--joy, sorrow, excitement, frustration, enlightenment, confusion. They also bring out these extreme emotions in me, even though I should know better. Kids have forced me to learn new stuff. That said, there are few things as wonderful as watching a child make a discovery or master a new skill.
Going to work for a living can be a drag sometimes. But, having a good job with benefits is better than not having one. And, as skier Max Mancini said, "Work is the price you pay for money." Even though my job is largely intellectual, those shop skills I learned in wood shop and as an electric motor repairman get put to the test more often than you'd think. There's always something to repair or build.
Despite what you might think from our information age, not everyone is an expert on every topic. There are certain realms of ideas that shouldn't mix--science, religion, and politics come to mind (read Charlie Pierce's book Idiot America for the full version). Science should be left to the scientists, religion should be left to the theologians and ministers, and politics should be left to the politicians. We should trust experts to help us sort through the nonsense. Everyone, however, should embrace common sense.
Here are the dregs of my list that I didn't flesh out: Every year gets shorter. Sometimes I can't do anything about it, whatever it is. If it looks like it's too big or heavy to lift, then it probably is. A mid-day nap is a really nice way to spend 20-30 minutes. There are too many good books to read. It's never too late to learn something new.
Yeah, I know, all the folks who are older than 40 will look at this list and scoff, but everyone has to start somewhere. I'm sure this list will evolve into a book as I age. My seven year old could probably also come up with a list like this, but, of course, it would be shorter and simpler. He'd have things like "Learning to ride a bike is a key to freedom" or "nothing taxes your creativity like Legos." Maybe simplicity is what we should continue to strive for, even as we age past our first decade.
Thanks for reading, and have a great week!
----------
Last summer, alcohol became an enemy rather than a friend as it gave me migraines. While I can now enjoy a glass of wine again without days of agony afterward, I have to say that getting drunk is over-rated. A hangover lasts for days instead of mere hours, even without a migraine.
----------
Medically speaking, I've had to learn to deal with some chronic pain. Also, I've learned that it takes longer to recover from injury. In the process of these discoveries, I've enlisted several doctors and specialists, including a single primary care physician (rather than an office). Furthermore, I have to pay attention to my health in ways I haven't had to before, and my medical file keeps getting thicker and thicker. I actually have to check some of the boxes on those medical questionnaires now.
----------
Having children has been enlightening. Children embody the extreme, as they have not spent decades stifling emotion. Everything is turned all the way up to 11--joy, sorrow, excitement, frustration, enlightenment, confusion. They also bring out these extreme emotions in me, even though I should know better. Kids have forced me to learn new stuff. That said, there are few things as wonderful as watching a child make a discovery or master a new skill.
----------
Going to work for a living can be a drag sometimes. But, having a good job with benefits is better than not having one. And, as skier Max Mancini said, "Work is the price you pay for money." Even though my job is largely intellectual, those shop skills I learned in wood shop and as an electric motor repairman get put to the test more often than you'd think. There's always something to repair or build.
----------
Despite what you might think from our information age, not everyone is an expert on every topic. There are certain realms of ideas that shouldn't mix--science, religion, and politics come to mind (read Charlie Pierce's book Idiot America for the full version). Science should be left to the scientists, religion should be left to the theologians and ministers, and politics should be left to the politicians. We should trust experts to help us sort through the nonsense. Everyone, however, should embrace common sense.
----------
Here are the dregs of my list that I didn't flesh out: Every year gets shorter. Sometimes I can't do anything about it, whatever it is. If it looks like it's too big or heavy to lift, then it probably is. A mid-day nap is a really nice way to spend 20-30 minutes. There are too many good books to read. It's never too late to learn something new.
----------
Yeah, I know, all the folks who are older than 40 will look at this list and scoff, but everyone has to start somewhere. I'm sure this list will evolve into a book as I age. My seven year old could probably also come up with a list like this, but, of course, it would be shorter and simpler. He'd have things like "Learning to ride a bike is a key to freedom" or "nothing taxes your creativity like Legos." Maybe simplicity is what we should continue to strive for, even as we age past our first decade.
Thanks for reading, and have a great week!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Reframing Part 1: Lack Into Abundance
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting
something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what
we do have. --Frederick Keonig--
Gratitude is the open door to abundance.
For a few years now, I've been thinking about a pervasive dichotomy that is present in our culture--the issues of abundance and lack. As you can see from the quotes above, I'm not the only one, nor is this reflection novel--others have been thinking about this issue for centuries! Several years ago, I was considering the age-old question, "Why don't I seem to have enough money?", and came across the philosophies present in Radical Homemaking (Shannon Hayes), The Good Life Lab (Wendy Tremayne), Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin), Saved (Ben Hewitt), and the website/blog "Mr. Money Mustache." I recommend you peruse these sources if you have ever asked the same question I did or felt a lack of money was somehow holding you back. Since we asked that question and did some homework, we paid off all debt except our mortgage, and we save a lot of money each month. We did this by forgoing luxuries. I work a second "job" as musician and music teacher, and teach the occasional fly tying class. My wife teaches classes in art and craft. We drive 10-15 year old cars, and I do most of my own basic service on them (one is overdue for an oil change as we speak). We haven't upgraded to Blu-Ray or plasma screens. We don't "stream" Netflix or Hulu. We borrow movies, books, and music from the library. We grow some of our own food, harvest about half of our own firewood (I hope to increase that in the future), build our own picture frames, and do a lot of the work on our house (paint, flooring, demolition, some electrical, and basic plumbing fixes). At the heart of it all was a change in our relationship to money. Instead of taking on more payments and debt than we could service and resenting having to go to work every day just to pay bills, we are in a spot where we are working to live, where our money serves our lifestyle and will do so for years to come. All of these changes led to a feeling of abundance. We have food on the table, clothes on our backs, and money in the bank. We have everything we need and then some. So, the age-old question I posed at the beginning of this paragraph ("Why don't I have enough money?") seems to only be age-old in the context of a materialistic society.
Where my family struggles is house space: our house is all of 1300 square feet in size and has served us well for almost 11 years. We started out as D.I.N.K.s--Double Income No Kids--and became a S.I.T.K.--Single Income Two Kids--family. My wife is a painter/sewer/crafter/homemaker and I'm a scientist/musician/music teacher/woodworker/fly tyer. These are hobbies that take up some space (well, I tend to leave the science at work, where I have ample lab space and proper equipment!). We lack studios, and I don't mean fancy space with the latest gadgets and decor, I just mean a room or even a shed where we can start a project and leave it set up. I currently use a hollowed-out upright piano for a music "studio," my table saw in the garage is a storage table for packing materials (and sometimes a glue-up bench), and my fly tying stuff gets packed up into a tool box after every time I tie (which is either on a TV tray on the couch or on the kitchen table). My wife's space is relegated to a 4x5 foot table in the corner of the dining room and a 2x4 foot table for a sewing machine (crammed right next to her craft table). So, we want more space because setting up and tearing down every time we want to start a project takes precious project time. My father's passing left us with a bit of money, so we decided to look for a bigger house.
The previous two paragraphs raise uneasy questions, however. If we have extra money to put into a new house, why are we not giving more of it away? What about folks who are hungry, or who don't even have a place to live? One ancient texts tell us this:
One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. (Proverbs 11:24-25)
while modern society tells us "He who dies with the most toys, wins!"
In the face of all we have, who are we to want even more? Shouldn't we be happy that we are gainfully employed, enjoy various employment benefits, and have all of our needs met? Yes we should, and we are. But we are also looking to move our lives forward, to evolve our art and music. In order to improve, we need to practice; in order to practice, we need space. I'd like to be able to teach music lessons at my own house or have a jam session without having to displace my family from our shared living space. My wife wants to be able to do the same with art.
Reframing is the name of the game; I do it every day (as do many others, I suppose). The air conditioning in my car needs to be fixed, yet the car still gets me to and from work and gets 45 mpg. I have some pain in my back, but I can still work, play the piano, walk, hike, fish, lift things around the house, ride a bike, and, on good days, run and ski. I can't do Karate, but I can watch my son do Jiu Jitsu and my daughter dance. I have to go to work, but at least I have a good career-track job that forces me to learn new, interesting things every day. I don't make as much money as some of my neighbors and coworkers, but I have all I need and my wife can focus her energy on running our household.
All that musing aside, we are in the process of buying a bigger house where we can offer our artistic teaching abilities to the community, where we can put up guests for longer than a few days without being on top of each other and stressing each other out, where we could even house an aging parent, if need be. But, we are looking to do this without taking on a huge mortgage. My inheritance allows us to do that, but it is a mixed blessing. As much as I am looking forward to a bit more space, I'd easily trade it all for a chance to talk to my dad again.
I'm optimistic that this will be a good move for us. I'm also optimistic that we'll be able to share our bounty more fruitfully with the community, and that my dad would be proud of what we have accomplished and what we've defined as goals. Stay tuned, for the home of "Big A's Art and Music Exchange" is moving soon!
Thanks for reading!
Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys. --Rita Schiano--
If you want a limitless, abundant, loving life, make sure that all you believe is limitless, abundant, compassionate, and loving.
If you want a limitless, abundant, loving life, make sure that all you believe is limitless, abundant, compassionate, and loving.
Gratitude is the open door to abundance.
We live in a wonderful
world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to
the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. ----
For a few years now, I've been thinking about a pervasive dichotomy that is present in our culture--the issues of abundance and lack. As you can see from the quotes above, I'm not the only one, nor is this reflection novel--others have been thinking about this issue for centuries! Several years ago, I was considering the age-old question, "Why don't I seem to have enough money?", and came across the philosophies present in Radical Homemaking (Shannon Hayes), The Good Life Lab (Wendy Tremayne), Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin), Saved (Ben Hewitt), and the website/blog "Mr. Money Mustache." I recommend you peruse these sources if you have ever asked the same question I did or felt a lack of money was somehow holding you back. Since we asked that question and did some homework, we paid off all debt except our mortgage, and we save a lot of money each month. We did this by forgoing luxuries. I work a second "job" as musician and music teacher, and teach the occasional fly tying class. My wife teaches classes in art and craft. We drive 10-15 year old cars, and I do most of my own basic service on them (one is overdue for an oil change as we speak). We haven't upgraded to Blu-Ray or plasma screens. We don't "stream" Netflix or Hulu. We borrow movies, books, and music from the library. We grow some of our own food, harvest about half of our own firewood (I hope to increase that in the future), build our own picture frames, and do a lot of the work on our house (paint, flooring, demolition, some electrical, and basic plumbing fixes). At the heart of it all was a change in our relationship to money. Instead of taking on more payments and debt than we could service and resenting having to go to work every day just to pay bills, we are in a spot where we are working to live, where our money serves our lifestyle and will do so for years to come. All of these changes led to a feeling of abundance. We have food on the table, clothes on our backs, and money in the bank. We have everything we need and then some. So, the age-old question I posed at the beginning of this paragraph ("Why don't I have enough money?") seems to only be age-old in the context of a materialistic society.
Where my family struggles is house space: our house is all of 1300 square feet in size and has served us well for almost 11 years. We started out as D.I.N.K.s--Double Income No Kids--and became a S.I.T.K.--Single Income Two Kids--family. My wife is a painter/sewer/crafter/homemaker and I'm a scientist/musician/music teacher/woodworker/fly tyer. These are hobbies that take up some space (well, I tend to leave the science at work, where I have ample lab space and proper equipment!). We lack studios, and I don't mean fancy space with the latest gadgets and decor, I just mean a room or even a shed where we can start a project and leave it set up. I currently use a hollowed-out upright piano for a music "studio," my table saw in the garage is a storage table for packing materials (and sometimes a glue-up bench), and my fly tying stuff gets packed up into a tool box after every time I tie (which is either on a TV tray on the couch or on the kitchen table). My wife's space is relegated to a 4x5 foot table in the corner of the dining room and a 2x4 foot table for a sewing machine (crammed right next to her craft table). So, we want more space because setting up and tearing down every time we want to start a project takes precious project time. My father's passing left us with a bit of money, so we decided to look for a bigger house.
The previous two paragraphs raise uneasy questions, however. If we have extra money to put into a new house, why are we not giving more of it away? What about folks who are hungry, or who don't even have a place to live? One ancient texts tell us this:
One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. (Proverbs 11:24-25)
while modern society tells us "He who dies with the most toys, wins!"
In the face of all we have, who are we to want even more? Shouldn't we be happy that we are gainfully employed, enjoy various employment benefits, and have all of our needs met? Yes we should, and we are. But we are also looking to move our lives forward, to evolve our art and music. In order to improve, we need to practice; in order to practice, we need space. I'd like to be able to teach music lessons at my own house or have a jam session without having to displace my family from our shared living space. My wife wants to be able to do the same with art.
Reframing is the name of the game; I do it every day (as do many others, I suppose). The air conditioning in my car needs to be fixed, yet the car still gets me to and from work and gets 45 mpg. I have some pain in my back, but I can still work, play the piano, walk, hike, fish, lift things around the house, ride a bike, and, on good days, run and ski. I can't do Karate, but I can watch my son do Jiu Jitsu and my daughter dance. I have to go to work, but at least I have a good career-track job that forces me to learn new, interesting things every day. I don't make as much money as some of my neighbors and coworkers, but I have all I need and my wife can focus her energy on running our household.
All that musing aside, we are in the process of buying a bigger house where we can offer our artistic teaching abilities to the community, where we can put up guests for longer than a few days without being on top of each other and stressing each other out, where we could even house an aging parent, if need be. But, we are looking to do this without taking on a huge mortgage. My inheritance allows us to do that, but it is a mixed blessing. As much as I am looking forward to a bit more space, I'd easily trade it all for a chance to talk to my dad again.
I'm optimistic that this will be a good move for us. I'm also optimistic that we'll be able to share our bounty more fruitfully with the community, and that my dad would be proud of what we have accomplished and what we've defined as goals. Stay tuned, for the home of "Big A's Art and Music Exchange" is moving soon!
Thanks for reading!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Ups and Downs
I've missed a few weeks, mostly due to other pressing needs (especially the day job), but also due to a vacation, getting the spring garden in, and general lack of interest in sitting down to type. But, I thought I should get back into the swing of things, hence this week's rambling post.
-----------------------------
First, upcoming events:
- May 10, gig with DK & the Affordables, Los Alamos Sheriff's Posse Lodge, 7-9 pm, Par-tay!
- May 16, gig with Craig Martin Experience, Fuller Lodge, private party
- May 17, fly tying class at Fuller Lodge Art Center, 10 am - 12 pm.
- May 24, piano recital featuring MY STUDENTS! White Rock United Methodist Church, 2 pm.
- June 7, Rockabilly on the Route with DK & the Affordables, Tucumcari, NM, 10 am
- June 7, DK & the Affordables back Justin Shandor, the "Ultimate Elvis," Tucumcari, NM, 10 pm
- June 27, gig with DK & the Affordables, Los Alamos Summer Concert Series, 7-10 pm.
- Aug 27, gig with DK & the Affordables, Santa Fe Bandstand 6-9 pm.
I'm really excited for all of these events!
----------------------------------
Now for the ups and downs:
Life's full of 'em, of course. One of the biggest ups for me, recently, was watching my 7-year-old realize he could ride a bike. I bought him a bike for his 6th birthday, and he rode it quite a bit with training wheels. When I took the training wheels off and tried to teach him like a good dad should, he would have none of it. He ended up taking to a scooter, which was also fun to watch. We got him this 3-wheeled contraption (2 in front, 1 in back) that would steer much smoother than the ol' Razor scooters. He would scooter up to the top of our street--using the sidewalk like he was told--then carve turns back down the middle of the street (which he was NOT supposed to do). I couldn't believe how fluid he was. I of course had to chastise him for being in the road, but secretly I was saying, "Right on!" Anyway, the other evening after dinner, we took a family walk over to the parking lot of his elementary school (2 blocks from our house). It took a bit of convincing, but he got on the bike and started pedaling while I was holding his shoulders. After about 3 minutes he said, "Daddy, you can let go." And he was off. He is a 2-wheel riding machine now! I'm so happy for him because I remember how much joy and freedom I've gotten from riding a bike.
One of the "downs" right now involves missing my dad. He died in Feb 2013. Right after the funeral, I went with my Mom to see their insurance agent, John, and he said that even though it'd been 6 years since his dad died, he still expected him to answer the phone when he called. I don't expect Dad to pick up the phone, but I do come across stuff I think he'd appreciate and have to stop myself from calling or emailing him. It's a matter of reframing, though. While I miss my dad, I value and embrace all the wonderful stuff he taught me. I'm teaching a fly tying class in a couple weeks; I have fond memories of swapping patterns by email and tying together when we had the chance. He taught me a lot of what I know about tying and fishing (and about life, really). I drew for an elk hunt this year, which means I'll have to get out and scout, and actually shoot a rifle again. Time to dredge up all those memories, too! I'll be using one of Dad's favorite rifles, a Ruger .270 that he'd fitted in a composite stock, for that.
Another "down" is my recurring sciatica. As I type this, I'm sitting on a stool or standing, with my posture as good as I can get it, because sitting in a regular chair puts pressure on the pinched nerve. I had to resort to anti-inflammatories for a few days (even though, and perhaps because, I managed a 3 mile run mid-week). But, to reframe, at least I still have full function. I can walk normally and stand. In the past, I have suffered from the foot drop and strength loss in each leg. I went to the chiropractor, and as I write this I'm feeling much better, although last night I was in a lot of pain. I was definitely out of whack. I'm hoping to be running again soon, but I might dust off the mountain bike instead. I probably won't be back to Karate, though, as that has hurt my back a few times and I'm unwilling to put up with the pain, frustration, and downtime that being hurt causes. And I will miss a backcountry ski day in part because I don't want to be a liability in the big mountains. On the upside, the pinched nerves and tennis elbow in my arms has subsided, so playing the piano is much less of a chore than it has been.
We had a great vacation a couple weeks ago to the Oregon Coast. I have relatives out there--in Portland and Salem--and it was great to catch up and reconnect. As an added bonus, my mom, niece, and aunt (mom's sister) drove out to meet us in Salem (we were staying with my mom's other sister) so we got a couple nice days to catch up. The kids got to see a real city (Portland), as well as the ocean; living in a landlocked, desert state, it's sensory overload to see the ocean--that much water in one place! It all seems so exotic. My wife and I took a drive about 2 hours East of Salem, and climbed steadily to 4000 ft elevation, where there was still quite a bit of snow! It's amazing the relief between the ocean and the 10,000 ft volcanoes between Salem and Bend. That same afternoon, I did a few hours of fly fishing in at a big reservoir (Detroit Lake; difficult without a boat or float tube), and my Aunt Cleo gave me a nice casting lesson (which I needed!). Aunt Cleo was an adventurer, for sure. She and her brother/my uncle Pat fished and hunted all over Southern Idaho, and when she moved to Oregon, she fished and fished! It was great to have that bonding experience with her.
Another mixed blessing is our current house hunt. Right now we are looking to swap houses. We learned a lot by owning, renovating, and living in a 1300 square foot house, mostly about how little stuff you really need, but also about what you should and shouldn't try to do yourself. We moved into that house from a 2000 square foot house, and, consequently, had to sell a lot of stuff. As we added a couple kids to the mix, more of our stuff found its way to Freecycle, Craigslist, eBay, or the curb. We are down to a minimal mix of stuff, But, I play and teach music and my wife paints and sews, so we need a studio space to keep pursuing those interests. Looking at houses is always exciting. Dropping a chunk of change, well, that's not always so fun.
I suppose life would be boring if emotions ran flat. My life has been a series of crazy ups and downs lately. But, I suppose yours has, too, and that I shouldn't complain too much. For me, the "downs" in life are often an opportunity to reframe my perception. My mantra has become "wholeness, wellness, happiness," especially as it relates to my lower back.
Thank you for reading!
-----------------------------
First, upcoming events:
- May 10, gig with DK & the Affordables, Los Alamos Sheriff's Posse Lodge, 7-9 pm, Par-tay!
- May 16, gig with Craig Martin Experience, Fuller Lodge, private party
- May 17, fly tying class at Fuller Lodge Art Center, 10 am - 12 pm.
- May 24, piano recital featuring MY STUDENTS! White Rock United Methodist Church, 2 pm.
- June 7, Rockabilly on the Route with DK & the Affordables, Tucumcari, NM, 10 am
- June 7, DK & the Affordables back Justin Shandor, the "Ultimate Elvis," Tucumcari, NM, 10 pm
- June 27, gig with DK & the Affordables, Los Alamos Summer Concert Series, 7-10 pm.
- Aug 27, gig with DK & the Affordables, Santa Fe Bandstand 6-9 pm.
I'm really excited for all of these events!
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Now for the ups and downs:
Life's full of 'em, of course. One of the biggest ups for me, recently, was watching my 7-year-old realize he could ride a bike. I bought him a bike for his 6th birthday, and he rode it quite a bit with training wheels. When I took the training wheels off and tried to teach him like a good dad should, he would have none of it. He ended up taking to a scooter, which was also fun to watch. We got him this 3-wheeled contraption (2 in front, 1 in back) that would steer much smoother than the ol' Razor scooters. He would scooter up to the top of our street--using the sidewalk like he was told--then carve turns back down the middle of the street (which he was NOT supposed to do). I couldn't believe how fluid he was. I of course had to chastise him for being in the road, but secretly I was saying, "Right on!" Anyway, the other evening after dinner, we took a family walk over to the parking lot of his elementary school (2 blocks from our house). It took a bit of convincing, but he got on the bike and started pedaling while I was holding his shoulders. After about 3 minutes he said, "Daddy, you can let go." And he was off. He is a 2-wheel riding machine now! I'm so happy for him because I remember how much joy and freedom I've gotten from riding a bike.
One of the "downs" right now involves missing my dad. He died in Feb 2013. Right after the funeral, I went with my Mom to see their insurance agent, John, and he said that even though it'd been 6 years since his dad died, he still expected him to answer the phone when he called. I don't expect Dad to pick up the phone, but I do come across stuff I think he'd appreciate and have to stop myself from calling or emailing him. It's a matter of reframing, though. While I miss my dad, I value and embrace all the wonderful stuff he taught me. I'm teaching a fly tying class in a couple weeks; I have fond memories of swapping patterns by email and tying together when we had the chance. He taught me a lot of what I know about tying and fishing (and about life, really). I drew for an elk hunt this year, which means I'll have to get out and scout, and actually shoot a rifle again. Time to dredge up all those memories, too! I'll be using one of Dad's favorite rifles, a Ruger .270 that he'd fitted in a composite stock, for that.
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| Tying flies in Pacific City, OR. Did I just mess up? |
We had a great vacation a couple weeks ago to the Oregon Coast. I have relatives out there--in Portland and Salem--and it was great to catch up and reconnect. As an added bonus, my mom, niece, and aunt (mom's sister) drove out to meet us in Salem (we were staying with my mom's other sister) so we got a couple nice days to catch up. The kids got to see a real city (Portland), as well as the ocean; living in a landlocked, desert state, it's sensory overload to see the ocean--that much water in one place! It all seems so exotic. My wife and I took a drive about 2 hours East of Salem, and climbed steadily to 4000 ft elevation, where there was still quite a bit of snow! It's amazing the relief between the ocean and the 10,000 ft volcanoes between Salem and Bend. That same afternoon, I did a few hours of fly fishing in at a big reservoir (Detroit Lake; difficult without a boat or float tube), and my Aunt Cleo gave me a nice casting lesson (which I needed!). Aunt Cleo was an adventurer, for sure. She and her brother/my uncle Pat fished and hunted all over Southern Idaho, and when she moved to Oregon, she fished and fished! It was great to have that bonding experience with her.
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| The kids, Aunt Cleo (blue shirt), and I (plaid) get our feet wet and cold in the Oregon surf. |
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| Our motley crew poses at the base of Silver Falls near Salem, OR. Actually, the closest town is Sublimity, a promising sounding berg, don't you think? |
I suppose life would be boring if emotions ran flat. My life has been a series of crazy ups and downs lately. But, I suppose yours has, too, and that I shouldn't complain too much. For me, the "downs" in life are often an opportunity to reframe my perception. My mantra has become "wholeness, wellness, happiness," especially as it relates to my lower back.
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| Appreciating greenery and flowing water, rare luxuries in the Desert Southwest. |
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