Reframing Part 1: Lack Into Abundance

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. --Frederick Keonig--

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys. --Rita Schiano--

If you want a limitless, abundant, loving life, make sure that all you believe is limitless, abundant, compassionate, and loving. --Tara Meyer-Robson--

Gratitude is the open door to abundance. --Yogi Bhajan--

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. --Jawaharlal Nehru--

 
For a few years now, I've been thinking about a pervasive dichotomy that is present in our culture--the issues of abundance and lack. As you can see from the quotes above, I'm not the only one, nor is this reflection novel--others have been thinking about this issue for centuries! Several years ago, I was considering the age-old question, "Why don't I seem to have enough money?", and came across the philosophies present in Radical Homemaking (Shannon Hayes), The Good Life Lab (Wendy Tremayne), Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin), Saved (Ben Hewitt), and the website/blog "Mr. Money Mustache." I recommend you peruse these sources if you have ever asked the same question I did or felt a lack of money was somehow holding you back. Since we asked that question and did some homework, we paid off all debt except our mortgage, and we save a lot of money each month. We did this by forgoing luxuries. I work a second "job" as musician and music teacher, and teach the occasional fly tying class. My wife teaches classes in art and craft. We drive 10-15 year old cars, and I do most of my own basic service on them (one is overdue for an oil change as we speak). We haven't upgraded to Blu-Ray or plasma screens. We don't "stream" Netflix or Hulu. We borrow movies, books, and music from the library. We grow some of our own food, harvest about half of our own firewood (I hope to increase that in the future), build our own picture frames, and do a lot of the work on our house (paint, flooring, demolition, some electrical, and basic plumbing fixes). At the heart of it all was a change in our relationship to money. Instead of taking on more payments and debt than we could service and resenting having to go to work every day just to pay bills, we are in a spot where we are working to live, where our money serves our lifestyle and will do so for years to come. All of these changes led to a feeling of abundance. We have food on the table, clothes on our backs, and money in the bank. We have everything we need and then some. So, the age-old question I posed at the beginning of this paragraph ("Why don't I have enough money?") seems to only be age-old in the context of a materialistic society.

Where my family struggles is house space: our house is all of 1300 square feet in size and has served us well for almost 11 years. We started out as D.I.N.K.s--Double Income No Kids--and became a S.I.T.K.--Single Income Two Kids--family. My wife is a painter/sewer/crafter/homemaker and I'm a scientist/musician/music teacher/woodworker/fly tyer. These are hobbies that take up some space (well, I tend to leave the science at work, where I have ample lab space and proper equipment!). We lack studios, and I don't mean fancy space with the latest gadgets and decor, I just mean a room or even a shed where we can start a project and leave it set up. I currently use a hollowed-out upright piano for a music "studio," my table saw in the garage is a storage table for packing materials (and sometimes a glue-up bench), and my fly tying stuff gets packed up into a tool box after every time I tie (which is either on a TV tray on the couch or on the kitchen table). My wife's space is relegated to a 4x5 foot table in the corner of the dining room and a 2x4 foot table for a sewing machine (crammed right next to her craft table). So, we want more space because setting up and tearing down every time we want to start a project takes precious project time. My father's passing left us with a bit of money, so we decided to look for a bigger house.

The previous two paragraphs raise uneasy questions, however. If we have extra money to put into a new house, why are we not giving more of it away? What about folks who are hungry, or who don't even have a place to live? One ancient texts tell us this:

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.  (Proverbs 11:24-25)

while modern society tells us "He who dies with the most toys, wins!"

In the face of all we have, who are we to want even more? Shouldn't we be happy that we are gainfully employed, enjoy various employment benefits, and have all of our needs met? Yes we should, and we are. But we are also looking to move our lives forward, to evolve our art and music. In order to improve, we need to practice; in order to practice, we need space. I'd like to be able to teach music lessons at my own house or have a jam session without having to displace my family from our shared living space. My wife wants to be able to do the same with art.

Reframing is the name of the game; I do it every day (as do many others, I suppose). The air conditioning in my car needs to be fixed, yet the car still gets me to and from work and gets 45 mpg. I have some pain in my back, but I can still work, play the piano, walk, hike, fish, lift things around the house, ride a bike, and, on good days, run and ski. I can't do Karate, but I can watch my son do Jiu Jitsu and my daughter dance. I have to go to work, but at least I have a good career-track job that forces me to learn new, interesting things every day. I don't make as much money as some of my neighbors and coworkers, but I have all I need and my wife can focus her energy on running our household.

All that musing aside, we are in the process of buying a bigger house where we can offer our artistic teaching abilities to the community, where we can put up guests for longer than a few days without being on top of each other and stressing each other out, where we could even house an aging parent, if need be. But, we are looking to do this without taking on a huge mortgage. My inheritance allows us to do that, but it is a mixed blessing. As much as I am looking forward to a bit more space, I'd easily trade it all for a chance to talk to my dad again.

I'm optimistic that this will be a good move for us. I'm also optimistic that we'll be able to share our bounty more fruitfully with the community, and that my dad would be proud of what we have accomplished and what we've defined as goals. Stay tuned, for the home of "Big A's Art and Music Exchange" is moving soon!

Thanks for reading!